Fuck Yes Advice

I really freaked myself out with self harm earlier, I experienced dissociation for the first time. I just found myself sitting in my room with blood running down my legs with no idea how I got there. I just feel really shaky, like I'm losing my mind. Is this a normal thing? I've been cutting for seventeen months and never had it before. I just needed to tell someone I guess.

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:41:23 -0500

I’ve had it before. Like, you may as well have passed out because you just can’t remember how it happened. I don’t know much about it but I have experienced it.

I don’t just have it with cutting though. I quite often just lose time and find myself doing things I don’t want to.

You Will Be OK, I Promise.

gimmmeshocktreatment — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:02:49 -0500

twloha:

Sometimes I feel the way I think you feel right now.
I used to feel it pretty often.It felt like all the time.
But now, I look back at all the really bad days
and I just can’t help but smile at all the great days in between

And I know it doesn’t make a difference
or make anything better right now
Just know that things do get better
They always do
They have to
If for no other reason than to give us some place real high to fall from
Some place real high up.
Some place to bounce back to.
Because we do bounce back.

So stand up and go outside
And feel the warm sun on your face.
You will be ok, I promise.

- Eric Victorino

Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in when I'm with my friends. When they ask me to hang out with them out of school, I make up a excuse and say that I can't go, not because I have social phobia ( I do have a little, but that's not the reason ), but because whenever I'm with them I feel left out. I really like my friends, I know some of them since I was like 6, but still it doesn't feel right whenever I'm with them, and I have no idea of what to do or if what I feel is normal

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:17:16 -0500

Lots of teenagers feel like this at some point. Partly it sounds like it’s a confidence issue. If you have known them that long and they ask you to come out, they obviously like you! I have the same sort of problem sometimes because I feel that I’m just a clinger on or something, but you have to remember that they do want you around! If you don’t feel like going out all the time then don’t, it’s your decision and you are perfectly normal. But don’t let your self confidence hold you back- push yourself.

Emily xx

My first ever girlfriend (i'm bi) and I just broke up due to us living so far apart. I know where she’s coming from but it still hurts. I don’t wanna make her feel bad but I had to get it out there that I have feelings for her so I told her just before we agreed that the distance was too much for both of us. So I know the admission wasn't the reason for the split. I just wish it wasn’t this hard and I don't know what to do with myself now. I still have feelings for her and she has them for me.

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:14:27 -0500

Hi,

If you both have feelings for eachother, it may be worth trying to make it work despite the distance. It’s better than not trying at all and wandering what you missed, isn’t it? My first partner and I were long distance and it can be awful at times but also very rewarding. If you do try to make it work, I reccomend skype if you weren’t already using it. Plus just keep ridiculously in contact, send each other letters and things!

However, not everyone is cut out for that sort of relationship, so I’d say talk to her and if you agree the split is for the best you will have to just try and move on. Go out with friends, watch your favourite movies… just keep busy. Long walks are good too (however cliche that sounds)

Emily xx

Do you have any tips on how to get rid of scars? Mine are sort of getting in the way of my life and I was just wondering if there was a way to either get them to fade faster or a way to cover them up with make up or something? Thank you (:

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:11:25 -0500

Hiya.

I’ve had the same problem for years. You need to moisturize them regularly, it makes them fade quicker. I’ve heard palm oil helps but it’s very expensive and never really worked for me, and from what I’ve ready anything (including olive oil) that gives the skin some moisture works as well!

Also, you could try covering them up with concealer or foundation, but test it to make sure it’s the colour of your skin, not just of your face otherwise it might show

Emily xx

I keep trying to stop cutting, but whenever I do I just spend my time fantasizing about it, which I think is more damaging because it's so much worse in my head than it is when I actually do it. I constantly have this picture of me slashing my arms and legs in my head and I can't get rid of it. I'm finding it harder to avoid cutting and thinking about suicide, what should I do? I used to have a psychiatrist but he didn't help. I can't live like this anymore.

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:10:21 -0500

Hey,

Well, I don’t know what your psychiatrist was like but if he didn’t help, he obviously wasn’t very good.

I tried counselling, instead of actually therapy to help with my S.I and that really helped. I felt less burden with my shit, tbh.

I can honestly relate with this problem so much, that’s it almost hard to advise you. Something I am very sorry for. When I first stopped cutting, all I could think about was doing it. The thought plagued me. Honestly I thought about cutting more after I stopped then when I actually did.

I guess, for me, it all got better with time. My life was so dark after i stopped, I guess because I was changing my coping methods etc but after a while, things just started to change. I had a wake up call. I let my anxiety and S.I take over my life, and I failed an entire year of school. It just jolted me back to reality, and I came to the conclusion that I had to fight it, or it would destroy me.

I can’t suggest much, because this is such a personal struggle. (I know that sounds lame but it’s true~) you should really try talking to someone again, even if you just carry on talking to us. The weight off your shoulders will do you wonders. You should also try to distract yourself, pick up a pen, a book, a football. Anything. Anything that will just take your mind off the bad shit for five minutes.

I know people tell us not to cut, but if it’s your way of coping, it’s your way of coping. That’s what my counsellor told me. You should be more focused on resolving the issues that made you cut in the first place, than seeing cutting as an issue itself.

We’re here for you. Both here and on our personals.

Meg xo

going through the ask now :)

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 16:58:46 -0500

meg xo

She is straight, yeah. We always joke about it cos we act like such a couple all the time, but she's straight and has a bf. She doesn't know how I feel, because I think it'd weird her out and I don't want her to become uncomfortable around me or anything. But she flirts all the time, she's flirty naturally, but she gets changed in front of me and we cuddle constantly. I know I have to move on, it's just hard. There's another girl who likes me, and I said I like her, but I feel like I'm settling.

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:07:21 -0500

It’s not fair to go out with someone if you don’t really like them, but if you were in anyway honest when you said you liked the other girl back then it may be good to see how it could go with them. I know it’s shit but you are just wasting your time if you keep waiting for something that’s never going to happen. I’m sorry

Emily

I honestly have no idea about my sexuality. This confusion coupled with anxiety that has lead to a complete lack of any dating or kissing or flirting EVER is making me kind of miserable. My preferences feel like they change on a daily basis, and sometimes more quickly than that. I'm so confused, and I don't have anyone to talk to. And I also think I might like a girl, have an actual crush on one, for the first time. Just...what do I do?

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:01:08 -0500

You breathe, firstly because getting worked up over something when you already have anxiety, is not going to help.

I still can’t label my sexuality and I am almost eighteen, and have been out for over two years (as anything that isn’t straight) so I can totally understand how crappy it is.

You don’t need to worry about your preferences, if you ask me. It doesn’t really matter, it only matters when it comes down to liking someone. If you like someone, you like them, not matter who they are.

If you like her, maybe you should pursue. She might like you back and that might be the answer to your question. But you definitely should not stress, and this is coming from someone who let anxiety destroy almost every relationship I had last year (romantic and platonic.)

You’ll be fine, I promise. Focus on the person, not their junk and don’t worry about labeling yourself. It’ll only give you a headache.

We’re here if you need us.
Meg xo

This blog will be up and running again now, if we can manage that. Admins; can you message me if you still want to be involved? :)

gimmmeshocktreatment — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:41:59 -0500

There's this new guy who I initially got on really well with. I am a straight girl and it seemed fairly obvious to me that he was a gay guy. Anyway, a few days later, he abruptly came up to me one day and said "I like you," I was on my way out and sort of muttered "thanks" and then when he was leaving that day he gave me a hug, just out of the blue. Now when I see him around at work it's sort of awkward. Could he be bi? And into me? Or just weirdly wanting to be friends?

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:39:19 -0500

I’m really sorry this has gone unanswered for so long.

Simply, don’t make assumptions on other people’s sexuality! Lots of guys who may seem ‘camp’ like girls! Best to ask him what he meant for yourself.

Emily

I have a friendship just like Brittany and Santana's, before they got together. And I'm so in love. But the problem is, my Brittany is straight. She's so beautiful and funny and kind and she gives THE best cuddles. She makes me feel so safe and happy, I don't know how I'll ever get over her. She's my best friend and I love her so much, I could never cut off ties with her. We have the best time together, but I always just want to cry because she'll never love me like I love her. What should I do?

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:36:39 -0500

Hello.

Do you know for certain she’s straight, or is this just your assumption? If you have asked her and you know for sure, you have to let her go (at least in a romantic way). I know that’s tough and may feel like the hardest thing in the world, but you will move on eventually. If you care about her enough to try and uphold your friendship that shouldn’t be an issue, but I’m not saying it’ll be easy because it certainly won’t. I’m sorry you have to deal with this situation, but if she is straight it’s pretty hopeless.

Is she aware of your feelings? Is there any way you could see her less in the short run to help you get over her?

Sorry I can’t help more (Anyone else is free to have a go :P)

Emily xx

I've been... anorexic... for about six months now. I know there's no possible way I can just eat normally again. Even though I want to stop, there's still a part of me that makes me refuse any food. Do you have any suggestions as to help me be.. normal again?

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 09:12:23 -0400

Why don’t you write this down and give it to a friend you trust, a parent or if you feel brave enough, a doctor? There will be an end to this for you and it’s nice to see that you are wanting help for this. As daunting as eating normally again may seem, I hope it does happen for you, you just need to take that step towards getting help. good luck sweetie x

xawalkonthewildside:survivingtogether: The Butterfly...

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 13:06:06 -0400

xawalkonthewildside:survivingtogether:

The Butterfly Project:
The Rules are:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

Hey guys. I'm really really really sorry about my extremely long absence. I'm an idiot. I am back now :)

gimmmeshocktreatment — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:09:00 -0400

Emily xx

hi
my little sister is disabled and she needs alot of help so alot of the time my mum needs me there, my dad works alot and my big sister is going to university soon.
i'm almost 16 and in a couple years i'll be going to uni too and i'm terrified of leaving my mum alone to look after my little sister, but i want to go to university and learn and follow my dreams. prices are going up too, and we don't have much money either, but mum says it doesn't matter, we'll figure it out because i really wanna go.

basically, i don't know wether to back out of going to uni and help mum, even though she wants me to go, or leave her? i'm so scared.. the whole time i'm in uni i can tell i'll just be worrying 24/7.

my little sister is disabled enough for it to be guaranteed that she'll never live on her own, so what happens when mum and dad die? i'll have a job, and she'll be on her own? i can't stand the thought of her in a home or something.

oh my god sorry i rambled so much in this it's just i've never told anyone before. my friends wouldn't get it and they couldn't help anyway and i don't wanna worry my mum and dad. i cry and cry everytime i think about it. it's my biggest fear and i just want some comfort so i don't have to break down in tears like this everytime i think about it.

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:08:46 -0400

Firstly you really need to have a look at grants, bursaries etc. Uni’s are offering LOADS more next year because of the fee increase so definitely look into it before you go :).

It’s a horrible situation to be in, but the worst thing you could do is not go out there and get the best education you’re capable of. Not just for you, but your sister too! Think about it; in the future she may need financial help and with less jobs out there you’ll need a good education.

Have you looked into unis close to home? I don’t know where you live, but chances are there will be a good one you can commute to, if you really don’t want to leave. Or at least be able to come home at weekends?

Lastly, you need to do this for you. I know it’s scary, but no one wants you living your life to help others without thinking about your own future occasionally!

If you need anymore help do let me know, looking at uni myself at the moment so :P

I hope this has helped a little.

Emily xx

Why do I feel so guilty about liking girls? I’m not homophobic and I never have been, but I feel so wrong. Is this normal? I feel disgusting for thinking like this and I know there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t stop this guilt. What’s wrong with me? I’m so confused. I just want to be like everyone else.

I feel horrible for feeling horrible about something I shouldn't even have a problem with. :(

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 18:07:56 -0400

because we live in a world where people are forced to feel isolated if they aren’t straight.

i felt exactly like this when i first realized i liked girls. heck, i still feel that way now sometimes. i feel like my life would be easier if i was straight, that maybe more people would like me.

the thing is, people wouldn’t like me more and life wouldn’t be easier because straight people feel this way too.

you feel guilty because you feel abnormal. you feel abnormal because we’re forced to feel this way by the people around us. you can spend all your time wanting to be like everyone else, or you can embrace who you. we’re all freaks and we all have these things we hate about ourselves. things that makes us feel wrong and like we don’t belong or deserve to belong. yours just happens to be about your sexual orientation, for others it is their weight.

you’re not the problem here, darling. everyone else is. the best advice i could give you is to power through it. you’re great the way you are and you will come to realize that over time. this feeling will go away eventually and you’ll wonder why you were ever worried in the first place.

One letter to myself.

ginnifered-deactivated20121218 — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:14:02 -0400

One letter to myself.:

fucktana:

I created a blog to collectively gather notes people have written to themselves. Sometimes it’s hard being honest with yourself, but the majority of the time it is the right thing to do. So here is a place you can do so anonymously, where other people can read your letter and relate. It’s a blog where you can help others, by helping yourself and where ultimately, everyone knows they are not alone.

Sorry I forgot to mention that. She knows how it makes me feel.
And she's apologised a million times. And has explained why she cannot just leave him for me. Etc etc. and she now makes sure as to not spend excessive amounts of time with him in front of me.
And i know it's cheating. :( but it's like, all my morals are irrelevant when it comes to her.
I was just wondering what you should think I do, do I tell her she has to choose?
Or what

Also thankyou for the advice you already gave in the previous post. :) xoxo

Thu, 26 May 2011 17:48:08 -0400

you could tell her to choose, although i found myself in that position once and they chose the other person. however, even if they chose the other person, bad things might not come of it. if she loves you, she should want to be with or at least not be with someone else. sometimes people do love two people, but they don’t sit idly by whilst the one of them is hurting.

if you don’t want to give her an ultimatum then maybe you should just distance yourself for a while. it will give you time to think and it may just give her a reality check.

hi, i'm a girl. i'm in love with my best friend. (also a girl). She loves me too. (neither of us are gay) and no one know about us or anything.
But she has a boyfriend. and she loves him too. Even though she says she loves me more.
She said if i was a guy that we could be together properly, but because we're both girls it stops us openly being together.
i really dont know what to do anymore though.
I cant stand seeing her with her boyfriend. :/

Thu, 26 May 2011 17:38:41 -0400

first thing i will say is that if you are in love with another girl, that is a little bit gay BUT there is nothing wrong with that.

this is going to be hard, but i think you need to understand that what she is doing is cheating, emotionally so and in most cases that is not okay. if you love her, you need to talk to her and you need to tell her how you feel because otherwise this feeling is going to get worse. it’s not fair on you and sometimes you need to put yourself first.

i can really only advise you to do one of two things, talk to her and sort this or try to fall out of love and i can ensure you that the latter is incredibly difficult. do this for yourself and for your own peace of mind.

meg xo