I keep trying to stop cutting, but whenever I do I just spend my time fantasizing about it, which I think is more damaging because it's so much worse in my head than it is when I actually do it. I constantly have this picture of me slashing my arms and legs in my head and I can't get rid of it. I'm finding it harder to avoid cutting and thinking about suicide, what should I do? I used to have a psychiatrist but he didn't help. I can't live like this anymore.
Well, I don’t know what your psychiatrist was like but if he didn’t help, he obviously wasn’t very good.
I tried counselling, instead of actually therapy to help with my S.I and that really helped. I felt less burden with my shit, tbh.
I can honestly relate with this problem so much, that’s it almost hard to advise you. Something I am very sorry for. When I first stopped cutting, all I could think about was doing it. The thought plagued me. Honestly I thought about cutting more after I stopped then when I actually did.
I guess, for me, it all got better with time. My life was so dark after i stopped, I guess because I was changing my coping methods etc but after a while, things just started to change. I had a wake up call. I let my anxiety and S.I take over my life, and I failed an entire year of school. It just jolted me back to reality, and I came to the conclusion that I had to fight it, or it would destroy me.
I can’t suggest much, because this is such a personal struggle. (I know that sounds lame but it’s true~) you should really try talking to someone again, even if you just carry on talking to us. The weight off your shoulders will do you wonders. You should also try to distract yourself, pick up a pen, a book, a football. Anything. Anything that will just take your mind off the bad shit for five minutes.
I know people tell us not to cut, but if it’s your way of coping, it’s your way of coping. That’s what my counsellor told me. You should be more focused on resolving the issues that made you cut in the first place, than seeing cutting as an issue itself.
We’re here for you. Both here and on our personals.